January 07, 2011
Published on tags: Superleague
Williamson Dynamics held their 2011 campaign launch party at their new hub of GVWC operations in Berlin, Germany last Friday. A storming success with many in the media, other critics were more vocal on the levels of debauchery and drunkeness involved. Others stated that the absence of David Hasselhoff was the only thing preventing this from descending into a true farce and ultimate Euro-party stereotype.

"I came here to enjoy the hospitality of what I considered to be one of the most well-established and reputable engineering businesses in Europe, not to observe three scantily clad Swedish masseuses spanking a midget in time to a vinyl copy of Bavarian Lederhosen party dance-off 6.. which if you ask my opinion, was not a patch on the fourth version. Furthermore, I expected just a little modern, Belgian free-form Jazz.. is that to much to ask of a dignified party in which people do business?" stated one stunned guest.

Tetsuro Kobayashi, the technical manager representing tyre partners Bridgestone was confirmed to have been taken ill during the party, a spokesperson for the Japanese tyre giant gave only a brief statement;

"Mr. Kobayashi is currently on extended sick leave. His doctor believe rest is beneficial, so we ask you leave him in peace. it may be many months before he remembers what genitals are suposed to look like, and perhaps longer still before he recalls how they were intended to function."

Team Manager, Ben Williamson, was quick to repsond to some criticisms;

"The internal memo before the party instructed all staff that this year's party should conform to some small measure of basic human decency. Additionally, after what shall forever be known as the "Gregg Lawson incidident", the team has moved to put in place a blanket ban on all prurient uses of colostomy bags. Furthermore, our strict instructions that any outwardly visible scenes of sexually charged group dancing which may appear in the media should involve at least two human participants. These conditions were met and I see no need for further concern."

When asked to elaborate on the aforementioned Lawson incident, Williamson only went so far as to add there had been some "unpleasentness".

So far the only media content to have been released from the party was a short video clip from the Berlin Headquarters which had been carefully edited by the team themselves;



Still, some critics were not satisfied, adding that even the approved footage was "tragic and ironic in equal measure".

League Admin William Ponissi was quick to condemn the English team's antics: "It is absolutely not acceptable for a GPVWC team to display such debauchery and loose morals without at least having the decency to invite me."